Posts Tagged ‘recovery’

  1. Bra Shopping

    March 5, 2012 by Julie Moon

    Let’s face it ladies…it’s never fun.  You find the one or two styles and brands that you love and fit you the way you want.  Then you just keep them stocked in your drawer.  But then they go and discontinue that bra and you’re back at square one.  So imagine my fun…I have an empty bra drawer.  I spent a couple hours at target today…and a good friend has a few she’s going to bring over tomorrow for me to try out.  And then…get this…I get to start from scratch AGAIN after my May surgery.  I keep repeating to myself….I am thankful I have healthy breasts that need a bra.

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  2. You Will Heal

    March 3, 2012 by Julie Moon

    This photo is from March 1, 2012.  One month exactly after my bilateral mastectomy and SGAP breast reconstruction.  I have a 10 inch scar from each hip down into a V on my buttocks.  Yes…TEN inches EACH.  I have an oval shaped paddle of skin 5 inches wide on each breast that is a different color from the rest of my breast because it’s skin from my back side.  It will be removed in the second stage of surgeries.  I have an open wound on my left breast and a nipple that has not healed yet.  That nipple will require reconstruction to look “normal” again.  I have two very sore wounds on each hip that are still leaky and healing from having drains removed.   But…do you know what I see when I look at that picture?  I see ME! I see a woman who looks like she used to with a smile on her face.  I see myself wearing clothes out of my closet that weren’t purchased specifically for surgery.  I see a woman about to go to dinner with her family and enjoy a night out.  I see a woman who doesn’t look broken.  My body has undergone quite a bit of trauma.  I am regaining mobility but I am still sore and weak.  But my heart is happy that I am moving forward.  I am seeing myself heal.  I am working hard to make that happen and will continue to do so.  Someday I believe I will feel together, whole and beautiful without my clothes on because I will heal.   This picture gives me hope.

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  3. Feeling more human

    March 1, 2012 by Julie Moon

    Monday morning one of my besties volunteered to drive me to Charleston to see the doctor and to get my last two drains pulled.  If you don’t know what drains are, consider yourself blessed.  Having them for a month has been a drag.  I was so excited for this day to come.  We drove straight there…nearly running out of gas because evidently noone thought it was a good idea to put a gas station on I-20 for what felt like 100 miles.  Thankfully we made it to our hotel without having to walk to any gas stations.

    We relaxed for a bit and decided to go out to dinner in downtown Charleston at a great little place  called Blossom.  It’s wonderful to have friends who have lived there because they always give us the best restaurant recommendations.  I love being in Charleston!  We turned in early and watched some crazy tv until it was time to fall asleep.  Isn’t hotel tv the best…you watch things you never would have watched at home.  We watched some TLC show where a child had a parasitic twin removed from his body…wha?

    Tuesday morning we went to my favorite breakfast spot…Hominy Grill.  I have yet to have dinner or lunch there but I have plenty more Charleston trips planned this year.  It was delicious as always. It reminds me of our very own Athens restaurant, Mama’s Boy just with more seafood.   We killed some time shopping at TJMaxx and Homegoods and found a dress that might work for the baby girl to wear as flowergirl in May.

    Finally it was time for a visit and I was so excited.  In the waiting room we met another BRCA 1 family.  A young girl from Atlanta.  It was great to share stories and realize that we were going through much of the same journey.  She had a failed flap in her first surgery….such a small percentage of women have this happen.  So she was there having her second reconstruction.

    At last it was my turn to see Dr. Craigie.  He came in and sat down like an old friend ready to hear how I was doing.  We discussed my recovery and then he got to work.  I had nipple sparing surgery which means we attempted to save the nipple to be part of the reconstruction.  This is difficult because the nipple has the weakest blood supply after mastectomy.  One side has healed beautifully and managed to get a very good blood supply.  The other side has not been so lucky.  We have been using silvadene cream for the past 3 weeks trying to help it heal.  Dr. Craigie cleaned the wound and cut away the dead tissue and now we are working on my protein and letting the skin continue to grow to heal the wound.  Please pray for this to heal.  It is by far the scariest part to me…looking at my body with an open wound.  There still is a chance that there is enough healthy tissue for part of my nipple to survive.  The second stage of surgery we will be able to repair/construct anything that we need to though.  I have full confidence in my surgeon and his ability to make me whole again.  I have seen AMAZING pictures and I believe I will be one of those too.  THEN HE PULLED MY DRAINS!! Woo hoo! It was glorious to be free of those darn tagalongs.  They did a great job but I’m glad to let them go!

    After my wonderful appointment we celebrated with frozen yogurt and then headed on our journey home.  I got to see my baby girl before she went to bed on her birthday! What a wonderful trip!

    Look what my family had on the door waiting for me!

     

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  4. Stir Crazy

    February 17, 2012 by Julie Moon

    I’m going a little stir crazy I think. I’m turning into a grump. I’m not used to being at home and not being able to do much of anything while I’m here. All my friends know how I love to have a project and I have none. I keep walking around the house thinking about how much I need to repaint the walls in the hall and how I want my bedroom to be repainted. I wish I could be working. I sit in my recliner and stare at my backyard which is quite a nice place but in the winter it’s just not that pretty…needs mulch and a mow. I have several things I want to get framed and hang on the wall. I want to rearrange the computer on my desk. I want to fix my broken desk chair. I’m home non stop so I’m noticing every imperfection in my flooring and cabinets. I want to tidy the kids rooms and find the stopper to a piggy bank that is missing somewhere in her room. I want to do. I need to heal. This is hard.

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  5. Happy Valentine’s Day

    February 14, 2012 by Julie Moon

    Tomorrow marks 2 weeks since surgery. The incisions on my back side are healing nicely. I do still have my two hip drains that I will keep for 2 more weeks. They are a pain and they keep me from feeling like a normal person. I can’t wear normal clothes because they are bulky and have to have room for them. I will be sooo grateful when I am able to get rid of them.

    The right breast is healing well. It looks so normal and the nipple looks untouched. The left breast is a bit gross right now. Because I had to have the sentinel node biopsy on that breast it complicated the surgery a bit. It has a huge scab over the nipple that we are keeping covered with Silvadene (Silver Sulfadiazine) to help it heal. Eventually the scab will come off and hopefully the nipple will have survived. I have no idea how long this will take. I am grateful my mom is here because honestly I can’t even look at that nipple right now. It makes me a bit nauseous.

    I have to wear a bra 24-7 (minus showering) and though it’s stretchy and “soft” it’s getting to be very uncomfortable. I have to wear it for another two weeks as well.

    My breasts today feel stiff and tight. Different than they have felt so far. It is so weird to have them and not be able to feel them. It feels as if I have something strapped to my chest. I am adjusting. I am sleeping better. Did I mention I can’t wait until these drains are gone. Seriously hate that part.

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  6. Day 7

    February 8, 2012 by Julie Moon

    My Recovery Home

    Day 7…finishing up the first week of this new life. What a journey it has been already.   Last night was a very hard night.  Neither I or my mom slept very well at all.  We both had some crazy dreams and I was hot and uncomfortable most of the night.  My body feels so tight and swollen and I’m just so ready to be done with these drains.

    I saw Dr. Craigie, the plastic surgeon, first today.  He greeted my mom and I with hugs and a smile.  He prescribed silvadene for my nipple that I may lose.  If I do lose it he will be able to recreate something that looks similar…we knew this was one of the risks.  That side was the side that got the radioactive dye for the sentinel node biopsy so I think it was harder to see during surgery and not damage.  He also shorted my drain tubes for me so that I don’t have as long of tubes that can potentially get pulled on something.   I will go back Friday to see the PA and she will remove my two breast drains.  That will be great!  We will head home to Athens after those are pulled on Friday.

    After we left Dr. Craigie we filled our prescription and then drove over to see Dr. Baron, the breast surgeon.  I had taken my pain meds as well as a zofran before I left Dr. Craigie’s office and the two of those combined really get me loopy.  I feel like I’m floating all over the room and feel like I lose feeling in my legs.  It was relaxing but definitely a strange feeling.  He is so warm and compassionate and greeted my mom and I with hugs as well.  I feel so taken care of by this team of doctors.  He examined me and seemed a bit disappointed with the left nipple’s healing as well.  I know he was hoping that they both would survive and look as they always have.  He did feel great about everything else so far.

    I am happy with my recovery so far.  It’s not pretty for sure…but I know that’s all part of the journey.

    We grabbed a late lunch and headed back to our recovery home.  It’s so peaceful and quiet here.  I need to gear myself up for heading back to my house which is full of loud children.  I love them but it will be a big change for sure.  I was out from 10-4 today and I’m very sore and tired now. I hope I sleep well tonight and really am able to relax and rest.

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  7. Day 5

    February 5, 2012 by Julie Moon

    Hard day today.  I feel scared to leave the hospital.  I feel like I’m in pieces.  I am sore all over. All I want to do is curl up on my side and sleep but drains keep me from being able to do so. My back aches and I know it won’t just be better tomorrow.

    My friends are coming. I don’t think they will get the response they expect. I don’t want to talk I just want to sleep through the next week. I am sad.  I am so glad they are coming.  I know I can just cry and let it all go…it makes me so sad to think that women have to go through things like this without a huge support of people.  If I feel like this and I have all the best friends in the world then what in the world must they feel like?

    I won’t lie…being cut on both sides of your body is painful.  My breasts feel engorged…like they don’t belong to me but that someone  hung some sandbags on my chest.  They are warm and look great though.  They are connecting to my body.  My back side hurts.  I’m scared about riding in the car.  It’s gonna hurt.  I want to triple my pain meds and just be knocked out.

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  8. Day 3

    February 4, 2012 by Julie Moon

    I’m feeling extra sappy tonight. I am so happy I did this. Even when it hurts. I couldn’t have done this without my village. Thank you everyone. I finally have a pain med that is working. Yesterday was SO HARD. Friday was a much better day. Though mom keeps saying she doesn’t know where we’d put more flowers I am so encouraged. They sit at the foot of my bed and remind me that I’m being thought of. I can’t wait to see my family and friends again. I worry about the Mister. He doesn’t always recognize what he is feeling.  We watched Grey’s Anatomy tonight and that made me feel normal.  I have eaten some of my yummy snacks.  Tomorrow is shower day and I’m nervous about that.  Here’s me giving all my friends and family big hugs and kisses.

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  9. Day 1

    February 2, 2012 by Julie Moon

    Wow! This is the most surreal feeling I can imagine right now. I actually did it. The doctors said it went great. I’m sleeping well despite my awesome nurse checking in on me. The hospital is beautiful and my room is large. I do miss my babies and the Mister.  I called my big girl around 8:30and had my best friend wake her up.  It was good for both of us.  I am so grateful my mom is here.  I am so grateful I am so healthy that this makes it such an easier procedure.  I have gotten sooooo many compliments on my beautiful quilt my friends made me.  Life is good.  My heart is full.

    My surgery took 12 hours. Can you believe that? I am sore. Morphine And Valium to the rescue.

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