If my mama has taught me anything in life…she has taught me this:
Author Archive
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My mama taught me
November 5, 2011 by Julie Moon
Category The Journey | Tags: decisions,family,fear | No Comments
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Research Accomplished
November 4, 2011 by Julie Moon
I spent all day at home today…most of it in my pajamas while I researched things online and read and spoke with other reconstruction patients via email, message boards and on the phone. I am so grateful for the technology I have available to me so that I can make even more informed decisions quickly.Today I started the day not really knowing exactly what procedure I would like to have done and not having any idea who I would like to do the procedure. Now at 5:00 pm I feel very confident about both. I spoke this afternoon with Dr. Craigie’s PA from Charleston. We discussed all the different procedures and I really feel like the procedure that is right for me is the GAP flap procedure. Here is what they write about this procedure.
GAP Flap
A Technique for Women With Flat Tummies Or Previous Abdominal Surgery
Women who are thin or who have minimal tummy tissue can also benefit from this procedure. In the GAP Flap, tissue is taken from the buttock area. The skin, fat and tiny blood vessels are removed through an incision that can be hidden under the panty line. Depending on a woman’s shape and where she has extra tissue, the area above the buttock to include the love handle or hip area can be used with this technique. If someone’s extra tissue is in the lower buttock or saddle bag this area can be considered as well.
The microsurgery techniques used by CNBR surgeons spare the gluteal muscle, and forms the tissue into a new breast mound. The added benefit: patients also receive a buttocks/thigh lift!
Although the GAP flap is the least commonly used of all flaps due to its technical difficulty, our two expert surgeons are within the tiny percentage of microsurgeons in the United States who routinely reconstruct both breasts at the same time with GAP flaps. While technically demanding, GAP flaps often produce a more youthful appearing breast than the DIEP.
I think this is the right procedure for me. I am happy about what I have learned about it. There are only three places that do this procedure. Charleston and New Orleans are the ones I have been researching. The other is in New York. I like the idea of traveling to Charleston because it is only about 4.5 hours away. I can get there inexpensively. I can have more than one person travel with me if needed. I think it will be easier on my body post surgery to drive home as opposed to flying from New Orleans.
I am amazed at the advancements in microsurgery and what one can accomplish.
I emailed with the surgeon as well today. How’s that for service? I think this is where my heart is leading me.
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New Orleans, Charleston?
November 3, 2011 by Julie Moon
Today is a day dedicated to staying in my pajamas and researching. I need to figure out what kind of reconstruction I want. I am leaning towards really wanting to reconstruct my breasts with tissue from my own body…not implants. I really like the idea of whatever is in my body being my own…less chance for my body to reject it. I like the idea of having one surgery and being done…not having to replace implants long term. I like the idea that if I gain weight or lose weight my breasts will gain or lose with me. I like the idea of losing a bit of fat from another part of my body in the process of gaining new breasts. I am seriously considering traveling out of town for this reconstruction…there are two centers I am researching…one in New Orleans and another in Charleston, SC. It looks like they both cover my insurance so I would just have the extra travel expenses.I’d be just like a real life Hollywood star. Travel out of town and have some major plastic surgery and return home a new woman. ha!
Here are the links to two of the places I’m considering. They do so many more DIEP and GAP procedures than anyone in Atlanta. There’s lots of great reading about what it is I’m planning on doing on their websites.
Category The Journey | Tags: breast cancer,decisions,insurance,plastic surgeon,surgeon | No Comments
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Squeeze Me
November 2, 2011 by Julie Moon
Yesterday was my first of many doctor visits. The office was huge and there were so many people there. They told me to plan for a 3 hour appointment. My cell phone was charged and ready to keep up with my emails and facebook and chatting with friends. My mom came with me. Sitting in the waiting room was strange…well several waiting rooms really of women all dressed in robes. We all looked the same. It was like everyone was tagged in that one room. If you wore the robe then you were obviously the one with an issue. The non robed women were just there as support people. The office just deals with people with issues…if you find a lump, need an MRI, have breast cancer or like me…are a genetic mutant. So, noone was there for their happy little annual mammogram (ha…as if any mammogram is happy).I had a mammogram. It was not a big deal. It’s uncomfortable but not painful. I then moved to the next waiting area where I was called back for an ultrasound. Ultrasound can find even more than a mammogram and is good for dense breast tissue. Then I moved to the last waiting area…waiting to talk to my doctor. My mom was with me the whole time…chatting it up with ladies all around me. It was good to have her there but I enjoyed the time alone on my own as well. I like to be alone in these type situations. It feels easier to actually deal with and cope with the problem.
My doctor showed us the ultrasound results and she showed me that I have two areas with cysts. She recommends that I have them biopsied in office soon. I schedule an appointment for November 11th to have that done. It’s a pain to deal with insurance and paying so much at the end of the year but the mister and I agreed that it’s worth it and we would really be mad if we didn’t do something and it ended up being cancer and we didn’t have the 2 month jump on dealing with it. We’ll come up with a way to pay for it or come up with a payment plan.
How do I feel about them finding cysts in my breasts? It is what it is. I don’t feel worried. Should I be worried? I don’t know. I don’t usually worry about things like this. I worry about things I think I have control over and this I just don’t really feel like I have any control over. Maybe that’s why it feels simple.
I wanted to cry tonight. It feels good to cry sometimes. It just didn’t come easy tonight.
I have three plastic surgeons to meet with. I want to speak with each of them and find out what kind of reconstruction they recommend for me.
Category The Journey | Tags: breast cancer,decisions,family,fear,insurance,mister,surgeon | No Comments
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Labor in Waiting
November 2, 2011 by Julie Moon
Here I sit in the examination room…waiting. I feel my heart pounding and every now and then my hands start shaking. I take a deep breath and calm my breathing. In and out…yoga breathing…listening to the exhale. One moment at a time. I always learned that with labor I just needed to work through one contraction at a time. Deeply focused on this one moment I will not let my mind race forward to the many other “contractions” that I have to face on this journey. This is not easy. I can’t wait to have a good cry on the way home.
Category The Journey | Tags: breast cancer,decisions,fear,surgeon,waiting | No Comments
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I love you too much!
November 1, 2011 by Julie Moon
My baby girl is 2 1/2 and full of fiery soul. She’s the youngest of three children. She is a firecracker, full of opinions and ready to try just about anything. One of my very favorite things though about her if you tell her that you love her she will ALWAYS say “I love you too much!” Oh it just melts me. It’s so true baby girl! I love you too much too. But too much is just right sometimes!
Category The Journey | Tags: baby girl | No Comments
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BRCA
October 31, 2011 by Julie Moon
So not only does the wonderful BRCA 1 gene I possess mean that I get my chest butchered but I also have an increased risk of ovarian cancer. Well you know what that means right? Yep…I get to have those removed too. When? I have no idea. Because losing your ovaries sucks worse than losing your breasts. Why? Because what 35 year old woman wants to go through menopause? Not this one!
But I must remember…….lose your breast + lose your ovaries = keep your life.
I keep stumbling around on the internet researching and looking for something helpful. I need to do more research about my situation and what I plan to do. I read an amazing story from another BRCA person…35. Her story was empowering and just what I needed to read. But then I just have this overwhelming nausea that I can’t shake. And I feel hot inside…and like my heart is going to pound out of my chest. I can’t imagine if today was the day for me to make that step. One of these days…not too far from now… it will be. Will I feel this way every time I think about it? Will I feel this scared every time? Thank goodness I pray…that’s about all that seems to calm me down.
Do not be afraid….Do not be afraid…Do not be afraid
Category The Journey | Tags: breast cancer,decisions | No Comments
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Without Fear
October 29, 2011 by Julie Moon
Category The Journey | Tags: quote | No Comments
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First Glasses
October 29, 2011 by Julie Moon
I took the Big Girl to the eye doctor’s office today. She failed her vision screening at the pediatrician’s office earlier this year so we took her to get her eye’s checked and sure enough she is just slightly near sighted. Nothing too bad but enough that it probably is a good idea to get her corrective lenses. She knew exactly what she wanted. She wanted dark plastic frames and she was so very excited. We tried on several pair and picked some super cute dark brown ones with a blue green color on the inside. Adorable! I can’t wait for her to get them next week. My little 8 year old…a milestone.
I remember the day I got my first pair of glasses. I can remember the day we picked them up and my mom handed them to me. I remember specifically being SHOCKED that you could see leaves on trees, read license plates and read billboards. I thought for sure my mother just had bionic vision and that someday when I got older my eyes would be able to see those type of things as well. It was a remarkable day in my life. I was 8 years old. I went from being the girl out in left field who couldn’t catch a ball to save her life to being the star of the softball field. I love looking at pictures now and seeing all the many different types of glasses I had over the years. And goodness gracious the year my mom either chose or let me get my lenses tinted ROSE…heaven help me they were awful. That was the same year I got an awful perm. I think my parents were working hard to make me the ugliest duckling of them all.
But today it wasn’t my girl and her new glasses that made me emotional. It was the fact that I got to say “We have a new insurance”. Why is that such a big deal? Because six and a half years ago my husband decided to embark on a new adventure and start his own company. He became an entrepreneur and with that came a lot of hard things. It is not an easy road…starting your own business. He has worked so many long hours. He has had so many sleepless nights. He is great at what he does though. He now has a successful company with seven employees and this month he was able to offer all his employees health benefits. I don’t think most people understand what that means or how that would even feel. It means we are legit. It means he’s doing things right. It means people are working for him and entrusting him with their family’s well being. I am so very proud of him. It was in that moment when the technician told me our glasses would just cost $25 that I just felt this overwhelming gratitude for how hard my man has worked. It means so many things beyond that too. It means that now I get to have my surgery. It means that I don’t have to worry as much about every little health issue since we no longer have catastrophic insurance. Such a simple thing…meant so very much today. Thank you my love.
Category The Journey | Tags: big girl,family,glasses,insurance | No Comments
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Grandaddy
October 29, 2011 by Julie Moon
My father in law is very sick. He’s been sick as long as I have known him really. He had lymphoma and underwent chemo which killed his kidneys and his liver. He needs heart surgery which they won’t give him because he also needs a kidney and a liver. He won’t be getting any of those because he’s too sick. He does dialysis three days a week and he has a speech therapist, a physical therapist, an occupational therapist and a nurse all coming to his home.
He’s never been a very affectionate man and never very expressive with his words but yesterday when we went to visit he called my name and said “thanks for coming to visit.” I have always known he loved me and was happy that I chose to marry his son. He called today after I sent a picture of the grandkids via email and said to me in his goodbye on the phone “I love you.” I think that was the first time I have ever had him say that to me.
I don’t know how much longer he is going to be around. I am grateful for all the time we have had with him. I am sad that he is not doing well. I am amazed that he has lived as long as he has. I am happy that he and my son have a connection beyond words. I will miss him when he is gone. He is a good man and it meant a lot for him to say “i love you” today. Sometimes short quick goodbyes are good because you don’t watch a person suffer for a long time but sometimes long drawn out goodbyes are good because you have the time to say everything you ever needed to say.
I love you too Grandaddy.
Category The Journey | Tags: family,grandaddy | No Comments
