December 4, 2013 by Julie Moon
I kept meaning to post about my upcoming revision surgery and it all happened quite fast so here I am on the other side posting now. I found out that we had met our annual deductible for insurance and so I called Dr. Craigie’s office to see if we could quickly fit in a surgery before the end of November. I really wanted to see if we could do anything to create a nipple for the left breast. That nipple had not survived the first surgery and I really wanted something there to match the sides. I also wanted to see if he could do anything to help with the fullness I was missing on the right breast. I knew that this surgery was all about me feeling complete and completely put back together. I traveled to Charleston to see him on the 18th….there and back in one day is an all day adventure but I had to see him this day. We came up with a plan. My mom and I drove back to Charleston on the 25th, spent the night and got ready for an early surgery on the 26th.
What Dr. Craigie did was take a cone shaped graft of my right nipple and grafted that onto my left breast. Blows my mind to think about how this could even work but it did. He also harvested fat from my legs via liposuction to inject into my right breast. This was challenging because I’ve been so diligently working out for the past year and so he had to harvest from 6 spots.
I stayed overnight in the hospital and was discharged on the 27th (the day before Thanksgiving) with a compression garment that goes from my ribs to my mid shins. I had no drains and only one dressing over the grafted nipple that they actually stitched down in 4 places so it wouldn’t move at all. I also had a nipple shield that I have to wear to just keep any compression off the breast.
Overall I’m doing well. My legs are terribly bruised and very very sore. I’m missing being able to workout and take my weekly trapeze class but I am beyond thrilled with the results of the surgery. If you can handle the surgery the revisions are really so amazing and have done wonders. I can honestly say that without the revision surgeries I think I would be really struggling more with my decision to do this. I took some pictures of the bruising last night for those who might need to do lipo…it is painful. But, I am so happy to know that everything in my chest is 100% “julie”…and not man made. I’m like a transformer…just move my parts around to create a new look. HA!
Category The Journey | Tags: breast cancer,charleston,decisions,nipple,pain,recovery,scar,surgeon,Surgery,travel | 4 Comments
January 16, 2013 by Julie Moon
No woman is really symmetrical. We all know this. But it’s something I believe we all desire. It’s incredibly frustrating to try to shop for a bra when you’re not. I was not symmetrical before surgery. I thought given that we were starting from nothing that I would likely be symmetrical this time. I am not…and even more so than before surgery. I’m trying hard to not be critical of myself and what I have post surgery. I’m considering some different options. Praying for some clarity and peace.
Category The Journey | Tags: breast reconstruction,decisions,emotions,nipple,planning,Surgery,symmetry,waiting | No Comments
September 25, 2012 by Julie Moon
“How are you doing?” “How are things going?” “How are you feeling?” “How do things look?”
These are questions I get all the time. I understand…people want to know. How else are they going to ask me? How else will they know what is going on? I don’t know how to reply though. I have been saying “I’m doing well.” “Things are feeling more normal.” “I’m back to work and not having any difficulties.” But the other day I really sat quietly, meditating on how I’m really doing. And the truth wasn’t quite as pretty.
I realized that I have daily discomforts that I wouldn’t quite call pain, but they are annoying and disruptive. My donor incision and above has a constant heat…not really to the touch…but it feels much like your body feels with some Ben Gay rubbed on your skin. A slight burn. I have lots of “zaps” in my breasts. I have sore spots on my breasts still…that feel like bruising, especially when I am not wearing any bra. Physically things are doing great but then again they are so hard still. I still forget sometimes that I only have one nipple. Sometimes when I’m standing in front of the mirror I cover my left breasts just to imagine what I would look like had that nipple survived. I know I’m going to have something reconstructed in November…but it will never be MY nipple.
I went this past Thursday for some theraputic body work (massage). And the question was asked “What would you like out of our time today?” I felt this surge of emotion come up that I knew was bubbling under the surface. I had prayed about it on my drive over because I did have a goal. I told him, “I want to feel more whole. I feel like my body is in pieces.”
I’m still working on it. I am truly so grateful for the opportunity to eliminate risk of breast cancer but I am realizing I am far from being “on the other side”.
Category The Journey | Tags: BRCA,breast cancer,emotions,nerves,nipple,pain,recovery,scar | No Comments
August 20, 2012 by Julie Moon
It’s been a long time since I posted. Life has been busy. The kids are all back in school and we are back in our routine. Tomorrow the mister and I are headed to Charleston to meet with Dr. Craigie. I wanted to see him in person now that I am all healed up from stage 2. I plan to discuss our plan for finishing my nipple reconstruction as well as what he might be able to offer in regards to modifying the donor site. My back side has some very large concave areas (obviously) and hopefully they are able to do a lift to fill in that area some and make it not so obvious I had tissue removed. I have no idea what we will actually come away with tomorrow in regards to a plan. I am looking forward to it though. It brings me lots of peace to be able to see Dr. Craigie and know that I am making progress.
I feel really normal most days. I did yard work yesterday…lots of digging which I couldn’t have done a few months ago. I’m working again and that makes me very happy.
I wish I could stay in Charleston for more than a couple hours tomorrow…that place holds such a sacred place in my heart. I think I need an I “heart” Charleston teeshirt..hee hee!
Category The Journey | Tags: BRCA,breast cancer,charleston,decisions,nipple,plastic surgeon,recovery,surgeon,Surgery,travel | No Comments
June 10, 2012 by Julie Moon
These days I feel like I’m on a roller coaster. One minute I’m ecstatic about how things are going and then the next minute I’m feeling like I’m never going to be finished and whole. I remember my mom talking like this. I remember her feeling like she was never going to feel great again. She is not without complications even 4 years later but she is in a much better place.
Last night as I pulled off a piece of tape that has been over the incision on my right breast (all my wounds were sewn up with something that looks and feels like fishing line and then taped over with something I think looks like sheetrock tape) I was amazed. My right breast looks so very normal. So much like the me from before surgery. I have a 4.5 inch incision on that breast but other than that I’m feeling so happy with the results. The scars will fade and it will be great. Times of rejoicing.
Then I pulled off my no stick gauze from the left breast that is looking so rough. It’s hard to even imagine it looking normal again. Lots of incisions and a bleb of a “nipple” they are working at creating and the incisions aren’t even closed tight. Feeling like my insides are exposed and I’ll be eternally doing wound care. Times of mourning.
We attempted a nipple sparing mastectomy for both sides. The nipple has to receive adequate blood flow to survive and Leftie Loser did not. She bit the dust early and now we have to replace her. It makes me sad to see how great the right side looks and know what I would look like right now if that nipple on the left had survived. Makes me well up with tears right here right now.
But then I remind myself that I did not go through all of this just to have two fuller, more youthful breasts that look perfect. I went through this to make sure I’m around to see this little bit grow her own breasts and make a life for herself. I went through this to live a long life and I can live a very long life with one beautiful breast and one ok breast…neither of them are going to kill me. And THAT my friends is what matters!
Category The Journey | Tags: baby girl,BRCA,breast cancer,emotions,family,nipple,recovery,sad,scar | No Comments
February 14, 2012 by Julie Moon
Tomorrow marks 2 weeks since surgery. The incisions on my back side are healing nicely. I do still have my two hip drains that I will keep for 2 more weeks. They are a pain and they keep me from feeling like a normal person. I can’t wear normal clothes because they are bulky and have to have room for them. I will be sooo grateful when I am able to get rid of them.
The right breast is healing well. It looks so normal and the nipple looks untouched. The left breast is a bit gross right now. Because I had to have the sentinel node biopsy on that breast it complicated the surgery a bit. It has a huge scab over the nipple that we are keeping covered with Silvadene (Silver Sulfadiazine) to help it heal. Eventually the scab will come off and hopefully the nipple will have survived. I have no idea how long this will take. I am grateful my mom is here because honestly I can’t even look at that nipple right now. It makes me a bit nauseous.
I have to wear a bra 24-7 (minus showering) and though it’s stretchy and “soft” it’s getting to be very uncomfortable. I have to wear it for another two weeks as well.
My breasts today feel stiff and tight. Different than they have felt so far. It is so weird to have them and not be able to feel them. It feels as if I have something strapped to my chest. I am adjusting. I am sleeping better. Did I mention I can’t wait until these drains are gone. Seriously hate that part.
Category The Journey | Tags: biopsy,medicine,nipple,pain,recovery | No Comments