October 26, 2012 by Julie Moon
One of the things that the 3day taught me this year is that everyone has a story. Yes, all the stories at the 3day were about breast cancer…stories of loss, survival and everything in between. Some stories were shocking, others were sad and still others were inspirational. What I realized is that we ALL have a story to tell. In fact, we all have many stories to tell. Every one of us has gone through something that has changed us, broken us, helped us grow, changed our future, opened doors, softened our hearts or hardened them. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own stories that we fail to notice that everyone has something to share.
At the beginning of the 3day they ask us to make a promise. The promise I made this year was to not make the event be all about ME. In the past year I added an additional chapter to my life story. It’s quite a dramatic story…not too sad but kind of intense. People need to hear my story but sometimes they don’t need to hear it more than they need to share theirs.
I want to share my story because I am proud of it. But more importantly I want to share my story because I think it will save other people’s lives. I don’t know that I’ll ever know if my story in fact saved someone’s life as I still don’t have the ability to tell the future. I do know that for the possibility of that happening though…it’s worth any criticism I get about speaking out. It’s worth any amount of strange comments from people trying to relate to my situation. I also have many other stories to be shared…some are happy and some are sad.
And for every person I encounter there is something that has changed them…deeply. That funny, sweet fella with glasses….he lost the love of his life and their future just as they were starting their story. That compassionate, selfless family who is always willing to lend a hand…they had a daughter born needing a new heart and even that wasn’t enough to keep her around. That sarcastic, confident woman who’s always online…she’s grown into an amazing woman despite the crappy men who have tried to keep her down and she’s raising a pretty awesome son too despite what a tough life she’s had. That beautiful, athletic woman you see running your neighborhood…she almost lost her son in a car crash and he’s still struggling to get back to ‘normal’. Are you taking the time to know their stories or are you too busy comparing yourself to them on the outside, being critical or just talking about yourself?
You might know their story…but you might not.
Take the time to be a listener…and if you’re brave enough…take the time to tell your own stories.
Category The Journey | Tags: 3day,emotions,life,promises,sharing,stories | No Comments
October 25, 2012 by Julie Moon
Sometimes I feel so alone in this journey. I “know” lots of women online who are BRCA + and of course I have my mother. But just like anything in life…it means so much to have a friend going through the same things as you. I mean I pray all the time that none of my friends will ever have this mutation. I desperately pray that none of my friends will get breast cancer. But it’s hard to not have a friend who really understands what it’s like to be dealing with losing your breasts and ovaries at 34…or even the decisions to choose to lose them. I do have one friend who has tested positive but she’s not quite there…not quite ready to deal with it all. I totally respect that.
Please don’t judge me for what I’m about to say and most of you won’t have any clue what I mean but I need to get it out there. It’s hard to not be a survivor. At the 3 day this past weekend the survivors are brought in at the end. They are honored for their courage and their victories. They ARE brave and they HAVE had great victories…I don’t deny that one bit. I have never once been afraid for my life. I have never had to tell my children I have cancer. I have never had to suffer through chemotherapy or radiation. But I stood in the corner, in the back…feeling a sisterhood to the women in pink but still so alone.
Category The Journey | Tags: 3day,BRCA,breast cancer,emotions,Surgery | 1 Comment
October 24, 2012 by Julie Moon
Pit 4 Crew 2012
I call this day “decompression day”. I spent the weekend in Atlanta at the Komen 3 day walk. I crewed again but it was an entirely different experience this year. This year I was with my mom, my brother and his wife, my sister and her fiance, my best friend and my “big brother” who crewed our team last year. We all signed up to be on the same pit crew this year. I had no idea if that would be a good idea or a bad idea. Close quarters and family for three days straight is sometimes dangerous. This was the first time for most of them at the 3 day event. I was excited to see how this event would affect them given that it changed my life last year.
Like I said, last year was life changing. We like to call it “The Great Awakening“. I came home from that event, planned my surgery and said goodbye to my breasts. I also said goodbye to the fear, anxiety, risk and more MRI’s and mammograms than anyone should ever have to experience. I became a Previvor. I became a previvor for myself, for my loving husband, for my amazing parents and siblings, for my darling children, for my devoted friends and for those who need someone to blaze a trail ahead of them.
I felt so much emotion last year about making a decision to be proactive. I was moved deep in my heart to act. This year I came to event with my own story. I feel like I had more to give this year. This event this year was about gratitude. Without research and the discovery of the BRCA gene where would I be? I feel so grateful to have been born when I was, to live where I do, to have the technology available to me, to have the learned what I have learned at this point in my life. Others have not been so lucky. It felt so big picture this year. I want to appreciate every moment and take from it everything that I possibly can. I want to live a life of purpose. I want to be intentional. I want to be a teacher. I want to be an example.
Thank you 3 Day family for what you are and what I have learned from you. Thank you for raising $4.2 million this weekend to find a cure.
I have so much more in my heart to write…it’s still in translation mode…working it’s way from my heart into words. Stay tuned.
Category The Journey | Tags: 3day,blessings,BRCA,breast cancer,emotions | No Comments
October 17, 2012 by Julie Moon
Today I received a message from a friend:
After reading your blog during your surgeries I showed it to a good friend of mine (they have lost 7 women in the family to breast cancer and she is currently fighting it for a second time!). Her younger sisters are now all getting tested for the gene due to your article! (Apparently their doctors had not brought it up to them yet at that time.)
And that folks…is why I am writing my story.
I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy about the internet, technology and being able to spread the word.
Category The Journey | Tags: blog,BRCA,breast cancer,family | No Comments
October 13, 2012 by Julie Moon
Previvor: A previvor is a survivor of a predisposition to cancer.
I am a previvor. Many of us are in fact. I’m just one who actually found out what kind of cancer was lurking at my door and I am blessed to have been able to battle it on my own time table instead of it knocking at my door. For me, that would be breast cancer and ovarian cancer. My breast cancer causing mammary tissue is long gone…my mysterious ovaries are still intact. I am still ON the journey.
Why do I need a term like this to show that I don’t have cancer? To me it’s a unifying thing. At the closing cermonies of the 3 Day event everyone gets a tshirt to wear. Last year everyone got a grey shirt but the survivors…they got pink shirts. I have seen the survivors at the end of the 3 Day event all wearing their pink shirts. From my perspective it’s a badge of honor. They have beaten or are fighting a battle. They look around and connect with the other survivors. You see women who are old and you see women who are young. No other day do they walk around labeling themselves as survivors. They give honor to the survivors. It’s really quite hard for me to explain the depth of emotion I felt when seeing this. I imagine if all the previvors were given a tshirt it would feel the same way. I would be drawn to them. You better believe I would run and give them a hug and say “I am your sister”. I don’t think I need to be labeled every day. I do realize that there are so many people I encounter every day who are predisposed to cancer of all sorts. It’s overwhelming for me to wrap my brain around those facts. What I DO know is that even here in Athens, GA there are other previvors. I can think of several right now…some who are unsure what to do, some who are waiting for the right time and some who have already been active in eliminating their cancer risks.
My mom began her course of action as a previvor but found out that cancer had already come knocking at her door. She will wear the pink shirt proudly at the closing ceremonies next weekend. I am grateful my mom is a smart and fearless woman who took action. I am grateful my mom will be around to wear the pink shirt of survival for many many more years. I know so many who are not so lucky.
Category The Journey | Tags: | 2 Comments
October 3, 2012 by Julie Moon
I have some of the same feelings about my breast reconstruction that I have about my wedding. Let me explain.
I got married 13 years ago. This was before people had cell phones, digital cameras and blogs. We barely had the internet back then. Weddings didn’t seem nearly as creative as they are now. If you hadn’t seen it before and you weren’t one of those super creative types you had a typical wedding. Which is awesome…but let’s face it, not quite as cool as some of the weddings happening today. It’s easy to get caught up in Pinterest and see beautiful weddings with creative ideas and wish you had “done that” for your wedding. I get a feeling of dissatisfaction about my wedding…I don’t like it. I usually promptly close Pinterest and the feelings go away.
I have been having those same feelings about my reconstruction. Technology and medicine never stops. It is inevitable that breast reconstruction is only going to get better and better. The choices available are going to blow my mind. I know my mom has some of these feelings about her own reconstruction. She had her surgery four years before my own and it has amazed us what was available to me that wasn’t quite as well known and/or available to her. But I have to quiet that voice in my head that wonders if I should have chosen a different type of reconstruction. I am happy with my reconstruction but I do have things that are still not quite right. I know I have another surgery in November but I wonder if I will still have some of these feelings after that surgery too. I want to help others but I think that there might come a point where I just have to quit looking things up and researching and being involved with the previvor forums for fear that my involvement will keep me from being satisfied with where I am. I will never stop being an advocate for breast health, breast cancer research and breast reconstruction. I do have two daughters…they may very well have the BRCA gene mutation. My efforts to find a cure are for them as much as they are for me.
Category The Journey | Tags: BRCA,breast cancer,decisions,emotions,fear,medicine,planning,plans,plastic surgeon,surgeon,Surgery,waiting | 2 Comments
October 1, 2012 by Julie Moon
I found this quote this morning…good stuff.
It is not the strongest of the species that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change. – Charles Darwin
Category The Journey | Tags: BRCA,breast cancer,change,darwin | No Comments